Since the school starts again after almost 1 month holiday passed, I have no choice to live my life. Because my mind keeps telling me that, the only chance I have to see your face is quite short. I'm feeling so uneasy. I really want to know the reason why am I so pathetic when it comes to love, why am I so weak when it comes to farewell, why am I so stupid when it comes to, you.
Do you know how much I admire you from the back? How much I love it, when I see your face even just your back. I freak out, almost every time. To be honest, it's not on purpose to love you from the beginning. I don't even have any reason why I stay, why I get hurt when those memories of us haunt me.
Everyday I wake up in the morning, without knowing what's gonna happen, who I'm gonna meet, where I'm gonna freak out, I always think about you. I don't have so much time on my hands, to see your face or to see your smile. There's one thing that I really don't want to be happened. We're separated by distance. Rather than seeing you go, I think it's better to me if you kiss a girl's lips right in front of me with my opened-eyes. Everyone maybe thinks that I'm so stupid, but like I said, I'm just too weak when it comes to farewell.
The reason why I act like I don't like you, like I just don't care, like I'm so strong but in my heart, you're still the one. Why I act like I don't like you is just because I don't want everybody knows about this. I'm afraid, if you knew about this, you'll run away and act like you don't know me and it really makes me feel so uneasy.
Babe, I'm sorry because I don't have the courage to tell you how much I want you to stay, how much I want you in my life. I know, it hurts me so much and no matter how much I'm trying to be strong or even to be a tough bitch, you will always be my biggest weakness.
And now, I just want to tell you that:
How could I turn back the time, so that I can erase all of the memories we had, so I can erase this feeling about you.
p.s: when you think that I will let you go because I don't want to love you, you're surely wrong and when you think I'm going to give up on you, then you must have made a wrong statement too. I'm here to stay even you're going to leave me. with love, your secret admirer.
